The Key to Reserva, a 9-minute long Martin Scorsese-directed wine commercial, made me giggle twice. The first derisive chortle came early on when I thought the pretentious, self-serving twaddle coming out of the diminuative moviemaker's mouth was serious. The second time was toward the end when I realized the whole thing is an elaborate put on.

The piece purports to be a behind-the-scenes feature about Scorsese making a short film from an excerpt of a previously unknown script that had been developed for Alfred Hitchcock. The three pages are all that remain of the long-lost script. A fourth page is missing from the middle.

Scorsese puts on his film preservationist cap, donning rubber gloves to show the pages to an interviewer, and even then he doesn't want to remove the pages from their protective cover. It's all so precious and sacred.

Then Scorsese begins with the fast-talking rat-a-tat-tat gobblety nonsense:

"I'm gonna do it...Yeah, like, my own Hitchcock film...but it has to be the way he would've made the picture then, only making it now — but the way he would've made it then. If he was alive now, making this now, he would make it now as if he would've made it back then."

"I understand perfectly," the interviewer deadpans.

This is the part that made me stop for the first giggle break: "It's one thing to preserve a film that has been made," Scorsese says solemnly, "but it's another thing to preserve a film that has not been made."

"Has that ever been done before," asks the interviewer.

"No," Scorsese says. "But we're gonna do it."

Then he really blasts off into stratosphere, prattling on about how he won't shoot the pages in his own style, but he obviously can't shoot them the way Hitchcock would because of the obvious — he's not Hitchcock.

"So who will I shoot them as?" he asks, pausing for effect as the camera zooms in on his face. "This is the question. And this is the process."

Then his film-within-a-film is presented and it answers the question of who will he shoot it as. It's shot the way Brian DePalma might shoot a parody of North by Northwest.

Left unsaid is how much Freixenet paid Scoresese for this bit of "preservation" work.